When Feedback Becomes Bullying

Context

An organization celebrated psychological safety and inclusion in its retreats and KPIs. But in practice, leadership delivered feedback in ways that contradicted those values.

Events

- A staff member carried multiple responsibilities at a national conference.- Leadership later suggested they needed 'accommodation' because they weren’t 'pulling their weight.'- A private hallway comment was reframed as 'unprofessional' and weaponized against them.

How It Felt

- Confusing: The staff member felt unfairly targeted but couldn’t explain why.- Undermining: What was framed as feedback actually diminished their credibility.- Unsafe: Instead of support, they felt watched, judged, and silenced.

Ethical Lens

- Policy vs. Practice Gap: Retreats promised safety; daily practice delivered exclusion.- Human Rights: Language of 'accommodation' without disclosure implied bias.- Feedback Culture: Feedback was weaponized instead of being growth-focused.

Lesson

- Ethical leadership isn’t just about policies. It’s about how people feel in the moment.- When leadership feels bad, unsafe, or diminishing — that’s often a sign that something is unethical, even if it can’t be fully explained yet.- Case studies framed through lived stories help us name those patterns and change them.